January 2012
4 posts
In case you were wondering...
We all go through beautiful experiences we don’t breathe a word about :)
http://goodnightgoodmorningthefilm.com/
Paycheck
There’s a reason why they hired you.
If it was fun,they would have done it themselves.
p.s. - Firing someone is as icky as being fired. Sigh!
Last night I painted my nails white
31st December 2010.
Beautiful cruise in the Pacific waters.Close family.In spite of the chilly subzero temperature I remember jumping around in a mini skirt dancing with my sister,head-deep into alcohol.
31st December 2011.
Cuddled up on my floor mattress in Bangalore in old jammies watching my favorite movie,Kung Fu Panda.All alone.Tired.Too tired to even open a can of beer from the fridge.
...
December 2011
2 posts
November 2011
4 posts
Complex Concepts
(ē’gō, ĕg’ō) n., pl., e·gos.
The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.
An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.
Compassion
Remember when I’d say “This world is a beautiful,beautiful place” and you’d hear in incredulous silence and call me a baby?
I still believe so.Even after all that I have seen and heard and smelt and touched and tasted.Even after all that I have been through.Even after what we have been through.After what they have been through.
I suppose I have a genetic disorder of...
loop
At the end of the day,we are all looking for a real conversation,verbal or otherwise.
No?
“”All things are subject to interpretation, whichever interpretation...”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
October 2011
8 posts
Thinking of Alex
The decision whether or not to treat it with curative intent is a patient trade-off between the expected beneficial and harmful effects in terms of patient survival and quality of life.
WatchLife goes on.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveller, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning...
“It was clear to me that I wanted to try and short circuit life’s path.”
– Tom Williams
twisted
In true love,the hurter gets just as hurt as the hurtee,if not more.
My Vanity Box
“You are beautiful,”he said.
Words I would ponder upon for months to come.The confusion about them.The mystery about them.The truth about them.
It was raining hard.My meager makeup had been washed out.My hair clinging down my head,dripping water.My classy black dress drenched to it’s satin lining.One of my shoe heels chipped off.And yet,he had said it—-so simply,like...
“Conserve.”
– -The wisest man I have ever known.Ever.
My papa.
September 2011
4 posts
“I don’t want you to find a way out of the problem.I want you to solve it.”
Snakes and Ladders
“Do you wanna play Snakes and Ladders?”
I looked up from my computer screen with a lot of effort. “Uh…maybe after I am done with this report..Besides,I don’t even remember how to play.”
“Okay.”
As I went back to the business document I was poring over,I couldn’t help wondering at his enthusiasm and disappointment.I mean,it was just a game...
The words that were never spoken grew like a...
“He carried his guilt within him for the rest of his life.He could not share it.He could not speak to anyone about it.And I respected that.”
- excerpts,completely unrelated.
Our USP : Being poor and tolerant.
It all falls into place.
When I was a kid,I’d watch my granny work in the kitchen and wonder at the difference in her ways and my mum’s.I’d never understand the thriftiness about washing every plastic bag of milk with hot water and then drying it and reusing it over and over again till she’d gather the courage to throw it out.Mamma seemed so chilled out,in comparison!And...
August 2011
6 posts
my fear,my savior
…chaNGEChanGEchANgechangecHANgechanGECHAngechANGEChange…
Our silent conversation
-Lies (by Evanescence)-
Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear Sealed with lies through so many tears Lost from within and persuing the end I fight for the chance to be lied to again You will never be strong enough You will never be good enough You were never conceived in love You will not rise above They’ll never see I’ll never be I struggle on and on to feed this hunger Burning...
On love,from a few months back.
My tradition of spending today’s evening with real friends lived! *Happiness*
Now,I am thinking of a stone studded bracelet I once received on this day by someone who taught me unconditional love.Thinking of my mom,my dad,my sister-and those who manifest love for me.Of colors,music and work which remind me every single day that I am capable of love.I am thinking of the most adorable guy...
“Listen to the quietest whispers of your mind. They are telling you the choices...”
July 2011
6 posts
Salaam Mumbai ?
It’s been exactly one week since the 3 bomb-blasts in Mumbai killed 21 and injured 131 people.I had to google up a news-link to get those numbers right now.On a very related note,I also vividly remember what yesterday’s newspapers were deeply concerned about—-That Katrina Kaif called Rahul Gandhi “half-Indian”.
And my point is?
Frankly,I am wondering if I can even...
WatchI was asked to make a video that describes me.I tried.
Every once in a while
Every once in a while,I feel smothered.
Every once in a while,I need to plunge out.
Every once in a while,I need to just breathe in,breathe out.
“It’s like picking up trash in dresses.”
– Jason Mraz,A Beautiful Mess.
Something is seriously wrong.
Today morning I woke up to a front page news that made me either want to puke or to scream out so loud that I’d make myself deaf.
It’s not the first time that such obnoxious shit has flashed on the front page.I have read this,heard this,squirmed at this,and eventually ignored this my entire life.And yet,today it triggered some anger switch off.Google up “times of india forced...
June 2011
3 posts
Note
To:
Its true.People get to make choices.
But I have learnt,no matter how free and independent we are,choices have consequences.
And we cannot always disconnect ourselves from them and pretend that we don’t care.
yours,
p.s.-We were both right.We were both wrong.
“You will begin to touch heaven,Jonathan,in the moment that you touch perfect...”
– -Chiang Gull (from Jonathan Livingston Seagull)
On idealism---and Santa
We like perfect.We like stories.We like perfect stories.
When I was a kid,I used to keep a sock under my pillow for Christmas.I was neither Christian nor did I believe in Santa.I knew it was my mamma that stuffed it with little gifts.And yet,I loved it!I suppose I liked the idea of believing in a magic story.The mere concept made me happy,perhaps.I never really gave this a thought until...
May 2011
4 posts
...
“If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”
my sacred place
I got off the last train and was subconsciously drawn in the direction opposite to home.My room is in a complete mess.Everything’s strewn around in an unkempt manner and what’s worse,I barely look up from my laptop screen to even notice it.
Sucks.Because the state of my room is a direct manifestation of my temperament, to a great extent.This time,accurately so.
So,it wasn’t a...
After America killed Osama bin Laden...
…I realised,that making a point and making a change are two entirely different things.
April 2011
7 posts
Inebriated Sapience
Just another party.When I say that,people conveniently label me as a social butterfly.Whatever.I don’t think being a compulsive party crasher is a prerequisite to realise that most of them are,more or less,the same.
And yet,they aren’t.
I was almost ready to leave the place.I was bored.I was also tired.But mostly,I was bored.And the coconut vodka didn’t really help.That’s...
“And I could still draw.
Nothing had lessened it as much
as I had abused it,...”
– Great Expectations
About growing wise.
A watched pot never boils.
I know.
But what sort of an idiot puts a pot to boil and not watch it?
Sex
The way I perceive it,sex is a form of art.
And I don’t see how art can be impersonal.
March 2011
9 posts
Empty Coolness
The trick is to put most of it in a black box.