tears can be orgasmic
its always ecstacy wen i m dancing to mysterious girl as i enter the bhawan.
so was today.but i guess it ws a bit umm…realer,i guess.
i hvnt been thr in a while.the last time i went ws wen i ws high.not a big difference i guess.but it wsnt vodka this time…
i cud not see her like tht.its unfair.she doesnt deserve it.one female i look up to.one individual i admire.so helpless.so weak.so gripped…by sumthin as gen as an allergy.i ws horrified.
its weird wen a brilliant soul n the magnificent human body interfere.the beauty is too much.almost heartening.worse wen the soul keeps fighting n the body deteriorating.n the one questions keeps hitting bak again n again.again n again.wats life anyways?thts wen i become aware.aware of myself.my existence.my purpose.
its the whole passion thing.i cant take the beauty.so so so deeply enticing.u wud think concepts r mere hallucinations.maybe.but hallucinations cn do the whole magic…is it wrong to wrk for the magic?
i don wait for the answer…coz i kno it doesn matter if its right or wrong…the magic does.the deep seated meaning does.the emotion does.the thought does.the passion does.
n without a reason….i m there.wat is it with me? i thot i ws an atheist.n i really am.thn wat is it abt this place tht draws me to it wen i m in supernatural states…i walk up the pathway all alone…the metal bars separate us…like last time…its dark….i cant even see u…but i m crying…no sorrow…no happiness…no regret…no anticipation…no concern….no disgust…no anger….none.plain truth…overwhelming and firm…i guess i m happy tht it exists…jus maybe….but i m more happy abt the fact tht i m feeling this…it builds up…rapidly n rapidly…so damn instense——jus 6 tears—-three each…equally spaced…i vaguely think of the bernoulli’s experiment….so irrelevant…n thn its gone…i feel bliss…a calm n intense bliss…evanescence continues to soothe my ears…i turn bak without a hesitation…we’r done…i m walkin down…a different high…still not sure why i came here….instinctively i turn arnd…n do my patent salute…dunno if its for u…cant be…u don exist….maybe its for the place…n the memories from 21 yrs…but its a true n well-meant one…thts it.
i turn arnd…cycle off..weird…tears can be orgasmic…
suddenly,i’m more aware of myself…my existence.my purpose.n i know i can take it…all of it…n more….do wateva it takes to get thr…jus to figure out tht beauty of the human body…n the soul…n….yup,of life.
they say u cant re-dream the same thing…u can.u so can.
1 year ago