Something is seriously wrong.
Today morning I woke up to a front page news that made me either want to puke or to scream out so loud that I’d make myself deaf.
It’s not the first time that such obnoxious shit has flashed on the front page.I have read this,heard this,squirmed at this,and eventually ignored this my entire life.And yet,today it triggered some anger switch off.Google up “times of india forced to have sex”.It’s incredulous what all comes up.
I love India and this post is,in no way,an attempt at comparing it with other cultures.I believe that no community is perfect and that each nurtures its own share of negatives and deformities.I love our society and our people.I really do.But,I have come to realise and accept that hypocrisy is an innate part of our culture.And I hate hate hate it to an indescribable extent.
Sex is just one blatant example.
Imagine being a kid and reading the above piece of news.Imagine growing up watching movies that show only flowers and kesar doodh as symptoms of a Suhagraat (wedding night) and reading the above piece of news.Imagine being a teen and wondering what it is like to kiss a guy and not being allowed to utter the mere word in front of anyone;the only hint of physical intimacy shown in the media to be behind the trees or in a spicy (ugh) rape scene—and reading the above piece of news.Imagine sitting in a biology class at the age of 16 being told that “a man and a woman have intercourse and thus,babies are made,”never once the word “intercourse” being defined,never once the words penis and vagina being mentioned…and yes,reading that piece of news.Imagine a late teen phase where everyone around you is “trying sex out”,getting pregnant,making abortions,simply because they can,without thinking,without feeling,and declaring it to be love or, thinking and feeling but not understanding or expressing and in some cases,not realising it to be love.And,reading that piece of news.Imagine going through your entire early adulthood without discussing sex.Without attempting to understand what it means to yourself and the society at large.Without accepting it as a beautiful human trait,in its very basic sense.And continuing to read that piece of news.Imagine dumping the whole concept of sex as a package deal with marriage.Never once questioning the value,significance or sanctity of the two concepts,independently or together.And,not feeling a thing about that piece of news anymore.Because you have read it over so many times.
For some of us,there is no need to imagine.It is the story of our lives.For some of us,it’s impossible to imagine it…it is that ridiculous!For the rest,who the fuck gives a damn?
Fair enough.
All I am saying is,our population has increased from 350 million(1947) to 1.21 billion (2011).So,people are having sex and a lot of it,at that.Then why,really why,are we not talking about it? Even in the 21st century! Why is it that the only aspects highlighted all over the place are either the ugly,distorted ones or the highly glamorous bollywood/hollywood ones?What about real sex? Yours and mine and his and hers and theirs,too.Suppression and denial can only lead to an uncontrolled eruption of contortion and malformation.Didn’t we learn this,like a thousand years ago?
And no,don’t tell me Dear Abby (or whoever the latest popular counselor in the newspaper is) explicitly talks about it in print.Or that you have an open and free bond with your friends to be able to discuss it in your secret katta corner.Or that the censor board now allows a french kiss on screen.And that,hey,we were frank about it in the Kamasutras.
What I am saying is this rate of socio-cultural change does NOT match the 20.97 births/1000 population (est.2011) birth rate of our country.That sex education at all points of growing up is a necessity.That it should be okay to discuss sex with your parents even if your aren’t getting married in a week…just like you discussed your wisdom tooth (or maybe you didn’t?).That taking an HIV test should not be a litmus test for one’s character.That you shouldn’t have to figure it all out on your own when time comes.That a candid,understanding and caring platform and support system for sex is required for a healthy society.
I am saying that a 25 year old girl should not be blocking out a sex scene from a movie on her personal screen during a flight because her dad is sitting on the seat next to her.As long as that happens,I insist that something is seriously wrong.
